Dear sweet Mama we met at the library storytime last week,
I put my foot in my mouth last week, and I’m sorry.
It drives me crazy when other people imply that my job as a stay at home mom is easy or relaxing. So when you asked why we had moved to Louisville, please know that I was nervous and speaking faster than I was thinking when I said, “We’re here for my husband’s job. It’s just for eight months, which isn’t enough time for me to get a job, so I’m just hanging out with my daughter and having fun with her.”
Ugh, I can’t believe I said that. Being a stay at home mom IS a real job. It’s actually more real than a job that comes with a W2 since it’s my vocation and life purpose. And to go even further and imply that this job is EASY? I mean, I love the little monster, but keeping her safe and happy and healthy is a never-ending task. Babies are hard work, pure and simple.
I guess I said those things because I’m still trying to feel at home in my new role. I never planned on being a stay at home mom. I was raised by a hard-working mother who successfully juggled her medical practice with motherhood. We all heard the stories growing up about how women can achieve just as much as men professionally. I just finished getting my masters in social work in order to be successful in my career. I mean, we define ourselves so much by our jobs. “What do you do for a living?” is a common small talk question. I guess I’m just not used to saying, “I’m a mom. I keep house and cook for my family. I take care of my husband so that he can work long hours and provide for us. I am trying to raise my daughter to be a kind and loving soul.”
At the same time, I am so grateful for this time with Mary. She’s learning every day and I get to be there to see it. She’s a wonderful little partner as we explore a new town together. It’s a blessing and a luxury that we are in a place financially where I can be at home with her.
So, other mom whose name I didn’t catch because you made a hasty departure after my faux pas, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to put you down or make your life’s work seem less important than that of our employed sisters. I’m just new to this party and trying to figure it all out. Be patient with me, though- I’m getting there.